So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
