If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
