Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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