i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
