you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
