Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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