Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
