If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
