I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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