do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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