We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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