I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
