then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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