I want to walk on stilts...naked
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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