the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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