You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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