Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
