There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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