I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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