What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
