This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
