It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize