I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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