Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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