What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
