no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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