I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just puked most of my soul out..
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