Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize