She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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