so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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