maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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