i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
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He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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