I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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