yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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