she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
