If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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