I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
