I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
