If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
