I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
