I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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