im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
