I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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