pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
