we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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