He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
