im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
