Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
