Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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