Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
