i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
