thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
