I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
