Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
how drunk are you?
Several
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
