It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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