Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
