If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
