Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
